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14 keys to tackling that awkward small talk
June 9, 2015 | Beginners’ guide, For escorts
Even though escorts are supposed to be “people” persons, not everyone is. Just because you’re in the escort industry, it’s not a guarantee that you’re an extrovert or have stellar communication skills. You may be extremely shy or reserved, even though you’re trying to make a career out of companionship. If so, don’t worry about it. Due to your natural inclination for bashfulness, you can easily identify with the clients who suffer from the same issue. But you do have to get over it in order to be successful in your role. There are several things you can do to get past that awkward opening and move into comfortable, easy small talk.
1. Be light, casual and positive. Gravitate toward subjects that apply to generally anyone and don’t cause much discourse through discussion. Good topics include: movies, music, theater, books, food, travel, sports and the weather. Seasonal concerns like gardening in the summer, holidays in the winter or other events occurring within a reasonable timeframe are also excellent conversation ideas. Talking about innocuous concepts shows that you’re friendly and approachable, exactly as an escort should be. Additionally, ensure that you always stay positive. Griping about the weather is not the approach you should take. Be upbeat and happy about whatever it is that you bring up for conversation. Avoid heavy subjects, obscure principles and emotionally charged arguments. Your client didn’t come to debate with you or groan about things you’re dissatisfied with. Keep all discussions easy going and easy to follow.
2. Prepare in advance. Rehearse three or four topics that you can easily converse about. Mentally prepare several points of discussion about the subjects and know your issue pretty well. Or, have several questions about it, if you suspect that your client is an expert in the area. (Be careful, though — you don’t want to probe or interrogate your client about a topic.) Practice conversations in front of a mirror and go over in your mind what you know about the topics. If you feel you know very little about a subject, do some research ahead of time using reliable online sources. Or, change issues. Having three or four conversations that are easy for you to engage in will ensure that you’re comfortable talking with your client, as long as you direct the discussions toward these issues. By mentally prepping, you become more comfortable and appear to be totally at ease with communication efforts.
3. Speak appropriate body language. Body language can really assist your efforts to communicate with your clients. It makes it a lot easier for them to know what your true intentions are and to fully share your enthusiasm or excitement for their encounter. Without body language, your words may often fall flat. So, be sure to use plenty of hand movements and facial expressions. Watch yourself in the mirror to make sure that you aren’t over emphasizing and that your external efforts match up with your message. Provide eye contact with your clients as soon as they enter your incall. But, be careful not to stare at them after their arrival. You can feel free to look away once in awhile to lower the intensity. Additionally, a smile will get you a long ways with many clients. Make sure it’s genuine, and not fake, with warmth behind it. If your client is so unappealing that you have trouble smiling at him, smile about something else that is positive in your world. Think of your kids, your family or your favorite vacation place.
4. Be the first to say something. When you start the conversation, you get to direct it. As you lead into the discussion, you have the option of choosing the subject matter. This comes in especially handy with clients who like to talk about extremely dull or negative topics. Upon your first meeting, greet your client and introduce yourself. You can say something about him looking just like his picture that was with his profile (if you saw one) or how he looks like he sounded on the phone. Or…completely different. After the introduction, transition to an easy topic that you’ve rehearsed. If you and he conversed, even slightly, about hobbies or interests as you set up the encounter, talking more about that is an easy idea. And, at least, you will know that he’s interested and willing to talk about that topic. Unless you know your client well, try to maintain some control over the conversation, especially if you’re not totally comfortable with small talk. When you focus the subject matter, it’s easier for you to converse intelligently and casually. You will be working hard enough, eventually, in the encounter, so it’s important to make things easy on you when you can.
5. Lower your expectations about the conversations you and your clients will have. Sometimes you and a client will just “click” instantly. Other times, it’s like oil and water — it’s very difficult to mesh well. You’re not going to have a love connection with every client or discover that you’re long lost soul mates. It’s just not going to happen. But, even in the worst of situations, you can be pleasant and make an effort to get along. The best thing to do when things don’t seem to be smoothly moving along is to just relax. Maybe you’re pushing the conversation too hard or putting too much emphasis on the discussion. Just settling in and letting it flow may be the easiest way to allow the conversation to transition to a more intimate part of the booking. You don’t have to be the best small talker ever with a client — you just have to make it pleasant enough he will come back, again.
6. Start out with a declaration. It’s pretty painless to talk to clients when you simply state a thought and wait for them to respond. Begin with a safe subject (one of the ideas mentioned in the first point will work fine), and allow your client to reply. Most will, and they will express an opinion. That starts the ball rolling with an instant conversation where you easily exchange insights on a subject that is simple to talk about. Avoid expressing negative thoughts as your discussion ensues, because you want your client to feel like the encounter was an overall positive experience, in all ways. Often, your small talk will evolve into many different subject areas, all with one simple starting sentence. Allow it to take its course, as you will learn a lot about your client along the way. And, in turn, he will get to know you better, too.
7. Ask open-ended questions about your client. A famous writer once said, “Talk to anyone about himself, and he will listen without interrupting.” When you show an interest in your client, he will probably open up easily and share details about himself. After all, he’s the resident expert on that subject. By focusing on him, you take the emphasis off of yourself, which helps you relax and get more comfortable with the situation. And, it only requires that you ask questions or reply to his responses. He is required to do all of the thinking by coming up with answers. But, don’t get too probing with your questions. Making him feel like you’re interrogating or being nosey about details that are none of your business is out of line. Ask innocent questions about his hobbies, what he was like growing up or what he did that day. If he seems to act like he’s uncomfortable with your questions, turn the tables and tell him the same things about yourself.
8. Don’t dread the silence. Even when you’re with your favorite people, there are moments of silence. Quiet periods give your clients a chance to transition into the encounter and take it all in. They may be digesting what you’ve just told them or appreciating the moment with you. It’s okay if there is silence, sometimes. But, if you feel it’s becoming awkward, get up and do something. Go get your client some water or a drink. Excuse yourself to the restroom. Anything to break up the silence in an easy way. If you start the conversation, again, be aware that nervous chatter is almost worse than the quiet. Relax. If your client doesn’t seem bothered by the silence, let it be. The conversation will start back up, again. And, if it doesn’t, maybe it means it’s time to “get to know one another” and become more intimate.
9. Play the role. Even if it’s not in your nature to be a chatty Cathy, do it, anyway. You’re not an introvert or shy when you’re an escort. You’re fulfilling his fantasy of a confident, outgoing woman. It’s essential for you to come out of your shell and be your alter ego. As you put on your escorting lingerie, talk yourself up and visualize yourself being the friendly, flirty escort that you know your client is expecting. Put on that figurative mask where you smile and allow your inhibitions to fall away. You have to find a way to put your own fears aside and be the fun, talkative escort that makes your clients feel comfortable and want to come back for more.
10. Ask “this” or “that” questions. Giving your client a choice of answers is an easy way to engage him in conversation. For instance, as he arrives at your incall, ask him if he drove a car or took a cab to get to you. Usually, he’ll elaborate on his answer. “I drove myself and parked around the corner,” he might say. Then, you can ask him how traffic was or if he hit road construction along the way. This trick is one that professional sales people and marketing pros use as they establish relationships with clients… and, it’s good for you, too. Keep in mind, though, that your “this” or “that” may not always be the only options for a client. So, he may surprise you with his answer if his experience didn’t match up with your offerings. Either way, it’s a great way to start a conversation and see it expand into more discussion.
11. Above all, listen. As you engage in unmeaningful small talk, he may reveal details that will help you get to know him better and clue in on more interesting subjects. Clients often give away pieces of themselves as they talk about simple things. If you’re a good listener, you can hone in on these topics and use them as the encounter progresses. Also, paying attention to your client makes him feel important, which is as essential as filling the void with wordy discussions. Not only does he seek out your companionship for the entertainment, but he wants to feel appreciated and significant. He wants to be the center of attention for a bit. So, once you get the ball rolling and him talking, just sit back. Smile, nod and give an appropriate “uh-huh” every so often, and you’re good to go.
12. Pay attention to your client’s body language. Just like it’s important for you to give off body language, you can also gear your conversation according to his physical behavior. His actions tell you when he’s comfortable or feeling awkward in the situation. His eye contact indicate whether he’s still bashful around you or disinterested in the topic of conversation. His arms, legs and feet will indicate whether he feels engaged or put off by your discussion. And, he may readily give clues as to when he’s ready for the encounter to progress to a more intimate session. His body language is just as telling as his verbal responses are. Let them indicate to you how to make the next move or when to transition into a different conversation topic.
13. State how connected to your client you feel. If you’re starting to feel at a loss for words, tell your client how close to him you feel. Or, indicate that he makes you feel very comfortable. Many clients want to feel wanted and appreciated by a woman. Telling him these things will make his day and will take the emphasis off of awkward conversations that don’t seem to be going anywhere. Making your client feel good is the ultimate goal. Allow him to feel desired and lusted for with your words, before you transition into a more sensual part of the booking.
14. Don’t get discouraged. Even if the conversation doesn’t seem to go smoothly, it may have went better than you initially think it did. With some clients, it make take several tries to get it right. You’re total strangers. Every client is different. Keep trying, and you will eventually find a method that works perfectly for you. The more you practice and implement attempts with clients, the better you will get at the process. Take your time and don’t get down on yourself. It’s a trial and error game that you can eventually win.
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