Yes, you are hiring an escort to cater to your whims and desires. But s/he is also a human being and one that you probably want to keep in your good graces. And if you want to have a grand old time over and over again, there are a few little tips and tricks that can help you rise quickly to the top of escorts’ preferred client list.

Don’t haggle, don’t short-change

Money is by far the most uncomfortable part of the exchange, if you let it be. By shorting your escort, you’re basically demeaning her profession and the value of her time. Would you not give a restaurant, your tailor or a cab driver their full fare? No way. So don’t give your escort any reason to think that you respect her less than the people who fold your socks at the corner laundry. Have the money ready, in an envelope, and have it in her hands, or wherever it is that she or he says they want it to be, in the first five minutes.

Groom yourself as if it’s a first date

Your escort has seen all shapes and sizes. She doesn’t expect you to be Brad Pitt. But a few simple grooming steps—having fresh breath, being somewhat recently showered, wearing clean clothes—will go a long way. Think of her sensory intake: what do you look, smell and feel like?

Check in with how she’s doing

Chances are your escort will make sure the conversation is as much about you as possible. In which case it’s only more polite to ask her how her day is, and how she’s doing. Show that you’re interested in her as a person, not just as a commodity, and she’ll feel even more appreciated and want to make an even more personal connection with you.

Never assume a touch is yours for the taking

Yes, you’re paying for your time together, but it does not guarantee that things will get physical—it may mean you spend your time together over dinner or drinks. No matter the level of intimacy, remember that her body is her own. Act like a gentlemen in the beginning, so that she can be comfortable enough to invite you for more.

Be yourself

Don’t try to be someone or something you’re not. The kind of people who go into the escort profession are naturally good at reading people and adapting around various types. She’s most likely going to be curious about who you are, what you love and what you do. Be genuine. Be honest. You never know what matters.

Watch your language

An escort would much rather spend time with a client who is average or less-than-average looking, but kind and considerate versus one who is physically gorgeous, but abusive or flat-out rude. You have a short amount of time together at a go—be respectful.

Verbalize what you want from the start and be specific

Your escort wants to make sure she shows you the best time possible. And while she’s probably going to be very good at reading verbal and visual signs as to what turns you on, the more specific you can be before meeting, the quicker and more easily she’ll be able to be ready for you, and the less she’ll have to rack her brain for what will best please you.

Remember the little things

If during your initial phone call or first time together your escort mentions a favorite flower or that she likes a certain singer you have in common, bring those things into your next session. She won’t be expecting a bouquet of flowers or her favorite kind of wine, and those little touches will encourage her to give you some extra special attention.

Let her feel safe

If you want to have drinks at the ready, make sure they’re sealed so she can see you open them and know nothing’s been slipped in (it happens). And make sure to have a non-alcoholic option ready if you’re going to have alcohol nearby. Don’t give her guilt when she checks the space to make sure no one else is around. Ask if she has a safe ride home at the ready. If she’s comfortable and at home in your space, she’ll be more ready for some fun.

Express your enthusiasm

Don’t be shy at letting your escort know if she’s just shown you a particularly good time. She wants to please you and to be good at what she does. Let her know specifically what blew your mind, and that you appreciate it.