Every escort builds bonds and relationships with the clients who regularly see them. However, while many advantages come with those closer ties, some pitfalls do exist that make encounters with regulars quite tedious. It’s natural that as you begin to spend increasing time with someone (such as your clients), the formality of the new “friendship” begins to wane
and is replaced with the kind of familiarity that brings a variety of new characteristics and dynamics into play. And, when it is most often considered a positive experience to create regulars from one-time encounters, many escorts experience serious complications that make bookings difficult to endure.
Consider these top relationship risks with regulars as you grow your client list:
- Regulars feel more comfortable pushing boundaries. During the honeymoon period when your client is learning how you operate and what you allow, he will adhere to your guidelines and requests. Usually being overly cautious about breaking any rules, escort clients will obey, to the letter, what their escorts have told them. However, once the client and escort have become more familiar with each other, those bonds allow clients to feel that they can ask for special privileges, beyond what is traditionally offered to them. They feel that their escorts really like them or that they are special, so they suspect that they can request more or different services than before. Privileges are often assumed, without first asking for them. Clients cross escort lines by taking their friendships too far. Feelings of entitlement due to being a regular can consume a client, which creates a totally different focus on encounters. Clients who begin to push boundaries or pressure for extra allowances are not worthy of keeping. Their shelf life has expired, so to speak.
- Attachment issues can become a hassle. The attachment fiasco can work both ways: escorts can develop feelings for their clients, and vice versa. It’s pretty common for couples who spend considerable amounts of repeated time together to develop some favorable emotions toward each other, especially if the emotions are associated with positive physical sensations, such as climaxing from sexual activities. Whether it’s a natural association of love and sex or strong feelings of affection and admiration, these kinds of internal rumblings can definitely complicate matters between an escort and her client. If you suspect that your client is becoming a lovesick suitor, it may be time to make this regular client an irregular one. Along the same train of thought, any time that you begin to have unprofessional feelings for your client, beyond a simple respondent physical spark, you should consider backing away from your regular, in the interest of maintaining a business relationship with him, instead of developing a personal one. Feelings of attachment cause hurt feelings, misunderstandings and much more serious consequences, if left unchecked.
- The “Girlfriend Experience” begins to feel real. When escorts see their regular clients, a “standing date” is typically established where the client has a consistently booked encounter at regular intervals, such as weekly, bi-weekly or monthly. For many escorts and clients, this begins to feel quite like a traditional relationship where you have an expected date every week, for instance. The GFE begins to feel like the genuine article, when you can look forward to it regularly, knowing the type of date to expect. Some escorts and clients begin to feel quite comfortable with each other, and they discuss their time apart, big events or occurrences in their lives and other trivial matters that are of interest about their activities. This habitual sharing process and the predictability that the encounter, itself, begins to bring along with it creates artificial senses about the escort/client relationship. Stronger than appropriate bonds may be forged, simply due to habit. You or your client may realize that more emotions are involved in your relationship than you anticipated, simply by spending considerable time together.
- Changes in the sexual chemistry between an escort and her client are apt to occur. Just as you become more used to having sex with a long-term partner in a personal relationship, an escort and her client may become adjusted to each other, getting more in-sync and able to predict each others’ actions. At the same time, though, other changes may occur as the client/relationship adjusts with the occurrence of encounters. The “spark” that fuels the sexual excitement may grow or decrease, which can be good or bad, depending on the individuals. Additionally, if emotional issues begin to factor into the dynamics of the relationship, other noticeable changes to intimacy may be observable. Clients may experience bouts of erectile dysfunction or inability to climax, as a result of frustration about the relationship. Or, they may become overly intent on fulfilling the needs of their escorts, becoming obsessed with helping them achieve climax, too.
- The true personality of a client may become apparent. During the first meeting or two, it’s fairly easy for your client to conceal negative characteristics that are part of his personality. However, as the two of you meet more frequently, it becomes more difficult (and, perhaps, less important) for him to keep himself in “check.” Hygiene, manners and courtesy may become less of a priority, resulting in a client who is much different than the one you originally established as a regular. He may feel like he can be himself with you after meeting several times for encounters, which reveals an entirely new side to a client. Escorts often put up with bad clients, because they know they can be delightful, if they want to be, and in hopes they will be, again, in the future. Unfortunately, once a client gets away with less-than-perfect behavior, it will become the norm and continue to taint the relationship for as long as an escort is willing to tolerate it.
- It’s too easy to get dependent on the regular money. Even though it’s great to be able to rely on a consistent client to provide you with a portion of your steady income, it can cause an escort to become complacent toward others. Instead of continually trying to attract new or prospective clients, it’s tempting to rest on your laurels and coast through, thinking that you’ve got your income covered. However, if something happens to a regular, many escorts don’t have any clients waiting on standby or coming along to pick up the income that is lost. Even if a client is absent for a routine visit or two, it can mean a significant deficit in one’s income, if an escort becomes too reliant on his steady encounters. While regulars are the bread and butter that most escorts use for their base salaries, an escort should never depend on any one (or two, etc.) clients to create an income that will pay her bills.
- The frequency of encounters may become too frequent. Many escorts have reported issues with clients who start out with a monthly-scheduled encounter and want to shorten time between experiences. They may go to twice-monthly or even once every two weeks. Some clients, after changing their waiting intervals, even want to reduce the time more. Some escorts have complained about clients who want encounters less than 24 hours apart. Even the best client can become hard to deal with or, even, annoying if you have to see him without being able to put enough time between visits. Encounters become cumbersome tasks that accompany unpleasant feelings and, sometimes, dread. A regular client who wants to visit too regularly needs to be encouraged to back off, with the promise that “good things come to those who wait.”
- Discount requests are huge turn-offs. Despite being very clear about charging all clients equal rates and never being willing to haggle over your price, some regular clients will feel free enough with you to request a discount for their regular patronage. They may insist that they get special member status breaks at their favorite restaurants or retail stores and that it makes sense for them to benefit from reduced rates for their loyalty to you, too. They will attempt to bargain with you, bringing up the number of times they visit you, etc. Some budget-conscious clients may even inform you what else they could buy with the money they’ve spent on you. Don’t be quick to retaliate with an unkind reply, but do not allow your client to debase you or your services. Remind him that he enjoys himself a tremendous amount, and that you doubt he could find the amount of enjoyment from his other example that he discovers with you. Feel free to encourage him to seek out better arrangements if he thinks he can find them, but let him know he’s welcome to continue seeing you at your previously stated rates.
- Regular clients sometimes feel like they can be nosier. By spending so much time with you, some regulars feel like they are privileged to information about their escort that others may not know. They may begin to ask you many questions about your personal life or history. They want to know information about your career, stressing that they desire details about intimate aspects of your job. From how many clients you see daily to the worst client you’ve ever had, questions about your career may overwhelm you. In addition to career-oriented curiosities, your regulars may develop a fixation on other details of your life, such as your childhood, what you were like as a teenager or the relationship you have with your husband or boyfriend.
- An obsession to know how they rate compared to other clients can become obvious. They are aware that you engage in intimate acts with other clients, just as you do with them. So, because they feel really close to you due to the consistency of their “dates” with you, they want to know if you like being with them more than others. They may inquire about if they are better at sex or other acts than other clients. Questions about endurance, size or other factors may begin to dominate all conversations, which can be truly annoying or distracting. While it’s natural for clients to wonder these things, it’s best for escorts to discourage conversation about them. Too much information (good or bad) can change the dynamics of a perfectly good escort/client relationship. It’s best to remain discreet about all other clients, just like a doctor would about her patients.
- Regular clients become more concerned with your position in life. They may want to save you from your hooker lifestyle or encourage you to get a “real” job that utilizes your intellect or other skills. Some might worry about you and your safety with other clients, while others hope that you will find a respectable way to live. (They say all of this, though, while they continue to pay for your companionship, taking full advantage of the services you offer.) But, because they have gotten to know you personally and realize that you are a human being, they feel it is their moral obligation to encourage you to seek out greater things.
- The consistent meetings between you and your client leaves an odd dynamic creating a relationship that is more than business, but less than friends. First of all, the professional relationship between an escort and her client is an odd one, where personal boundaries stop at physical intimacies but are fiercely upheld when it comes to emotional issues. It creates a true dichotomy, of sorts, where some aspects of the relationship are as intense as they can get and others are prohibited altogether. While most clients and escorts might be friends under other circumstances, they aren’t in a position to go get coffee or meet up for an innocent cocktail together. Serious limitations exist for the relationship, even though it is much more intimate in nature than other friendships or acquaintances experienced in life.
- Some clients become timewasters. Because they are so certain that an escort is a sure thing when they want her to be, regular clients often blow off dates as the relationship ages. When it begins to be less exciting to meet regularly, clients may find that it’s more difficult to leave work early, get away from the family or avoid other obligations that prevent them from arriving to booked encounters in a timely fashion. If something else arises that is potentially more fun, an escort may receive a cancellation call or text from a client. They begin to take the escort and the consistently-scheduled encounter for granted, which is a huge downfall for the relationship.